The hardest thing in this world is just to live in it

I never really thought I had body image problems.  I don't think I did, actually.  I was never the pretty girl, but I was never overweight.  I wore clothes and it was not dramatic.  But I guess as you grow up... correction, as I grow up, my metabolism is slowing and even though I exercise a lot more than I ever did in college or before, the size of my thighs and bottom just keep growing.  So... less eating, less drinking, more exercise?  Fuck me.  I don't eat that much to begin with.  But after trying on clothes for an interview, I'm beyond discontent.

So: Christmas goal:clean out my closet: put aside all the clothes that don't fit and go shopping for jackets and cardigans and other basics.  Fuck.

Black Bean and Avocado Salad

Yeah, so this is what happened to my other avocado.  And this time, I remembered to grace you with my terrible photography.  I know it's awful.  One of my best traits is my inability to commit to commercial purchases over $100.  Ergo, the cheap point-and-shoot.  (EDIT: There's no photo; since I made a draft of this in January and it's now June, and the photos were soooo bad, I deleted all of them, totally forgetting this post)

Know what's not terrible?  Black bean salad.  This brings together the basics real quick in order to make sure husband and wife have a lunch to take to work the next day.

The beans are canned b/c it's too much work to make them.  The corn was frozen from the Maryland peak season, so it was sweet, crunchy and delicious, but canned will work too.  The cilantro is fresh because that's the only way it gives it flavor.  And the spices are completely ad-libbed.  So without further ado:

Black Bean and Avocado Salad
Modified from Meal in a Hass Avocado

Ingredients:
1 Avocado, diced
1 (15 1/2 oz) can of black beans
1 (10 oz?  is that the standard size?) can of corn kernels
1 large carrot, shredded (I did it myself on my grater b/c I won't pay for a machine to do it for me)
1/2 bunch of green onions, thinly sliced (go with your gut)
1/4 lime
2 shakes of cayenne
4 shakes of chili powder
2 shakes of celery salt

Directions: squeeze the lime over the diced avocado to prevent browning, then mix everything together.  I made the whole thing in the colander I rinsed the beans in, then portioned it out into lunch containers.  It made two and a half lunches (stupid amount.  the original recipe said to use salsa.  If I had, maybe I would have gotten three lunches and not have had to make up my spices.)

To be or not to be

Soooo....  The internet is a spooky place, huh?  Five posts all in January and it yielded thirty-one page views!  I certainly didn't tell anyone to come here and read.  I guess it's how the winds blows.

When I began this blog I was flying high on resolutions of the new year, I was mildly incapacitated by vein ablation surgery, and I had this vain idea that I actually had time to blog.  Or that I would be willing to tell anyone anything about myself... I'm not well known for sharing.  However, in light of how smitten I was with my "Food Matters" cookbook by Mark Bittman, and how I wanted to get into crafting, this seemed like a good idea.

It's June now.  Time for half-year resolutions?  Are those a thing?  (Obviously not, since the crowds at the gym have thoroughly thinned over the months)

So okay, I'll try to blog.  I've been doing a ton and I can detail some of it and maybe even be entertaining to some of you (we'll see about that last part).  And even if no one cares, maybe I'll learn something about myself. 

Once a week.  It's not like I have anything else meaningful to do with my time.

Here is another picture of the best cat in the world, just to keep a potential viewer here to a half-second more:

Mexican Tortilla Soup

Avocados are expensive.  $1.25 for a single avocado?  That's four for five bucks.  Sometimes it's only three for five dollars.  Ick.  But apparently this is avocado season because they are at the store for 99cents!  So obviously the impulse is to stock up.

Stock up?  On produce?  Well, according to the internet, avocados will stay in that perfect state of ripeness if you just put them in the fridge.  Really?  I'm trusting you internet.  (On a side note, I roasted my first red pepper last week based solely on what I had picked up from watching tv chefs do it, and that came out great, so I have no reason to doubt the internet either)

And now, with two avocados in my fridge, I needed something to do with them.  Enter tortilla soup.  The recipe didn't look like much.  It's more of a broth base with a bunch of toppings added in at the end.  But it was tex-mex, warm, a little sweet and a touch of spicy.

I'm sorry I didn't take any pictures.  I'm obviously still getting into this so it's not second nature yet.  Not to mention how long it usually takes me to get photos from my lame point-an-shoot-camera to the computer anyway.

But pictures or not, here is the recipe:

Mexican Tortilla Soup
Adjusted from Hass' Avocado and Tortilla Soup

Ingredients:
6 cups Chicken Broth 
1 onion, diced
2 cloves garlic
1 Tbsp. olive oil 
1 (15 1/2 oz) can of diced tomatoes in juice (I used the basil and oregano kind)
1 (15 1/2 oz) can of cream style corn
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1/2 Tbsp. chili powder
A handful of coarsely chopped cilantro leaves 

Toppings:
1 avocado, diced
1-2 oz. low fat feta cheese
1 lime
4 tortillas
frying oil

Instructions:

1. In a dutch oven (my favorite kitchen tool) heat the olive oil and sauté the onion and garlic until onion is transparent.
2. Add the tomatoes with juice to the onion and garlic, and puree with a[n immersion] blender.  (I used an immersion blender, Hass recommends dumping it all into a blender, I might recommend not blending at all if the tomatoes are small enough.)
3. Return the pureed mixture to the dutch oven (if necessary), add broth, cilantro, corn, salt and chili powder.
4. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes.
5. Meanwhile, heat just about a Tbsp. of vegetable oil in a frying pan. When hot, add the tortillas one at a time for a few minutes on either side.  Let the tortillas turn golden before removing and cooling.  Then cut them into strips with a pizza cutter (they'll be nice and crisp and easy to cut).
6. Distribute the tortilla strips evenly in 4-6 bowls, ladle soup over top.  Sprinkle the avocado and crumbled feta evenly over the portions and squeeze a quarter of a lime over each bowl.

The cilantro really makes this soup.  It flavors the whole broth with fresh greenness (greenness doesn't sound delicious to you??).  The feta adds a touch of saltiness to it, and the tortillas soften into slime (that's not appealing either?  For real?)  Seriously, it was better than I thought it would be, and I added that creamed corn because it seemed like there was nothing in the soup!  I don't regret adding it, but I'm not sure it was necessary either.  Let me know what you think!

Quilting Project - Swing

When someone passes unexpectedly it leaves a more raw wound than from someone who had been sick for a long time.  It's the feeling of being blindsided, of realizing that anything could happen at any time.  The news suggests this to us every day but those people who die on TV, they aren't real.

My friend with whom I had a monthly quilting date, who taught me how to brew a proper cup of tea, who collected a massive variety of antiques, who hosted dinner parties, loved to walk, adopted a stray cat who saved her as much as she saved him, and who was always a good influence.  Was real.

After a year of being to raw to even want to quilt, I found this bookmark on the ground:

There was something so delicate and so beautiful that it inspired me.  I wanted to recreate it.  And now I am.  Credit for this work goes to Ms. Auralea Krieger.  Check out her sight; it's full of beautiful art in a similar vein (and better pictures of it).

There are many others, I know, who have much more expertise on the subject of quilting.  I learned by word of mouth and imitation, as well as forcing my way forward without care for the rules.  My favorite method is the freezer paper applique technique because it gets all the work done ahead of time.  Then it's just stitching away.  The photo of my layout is still just laid down.  The sewing is in progress so I'll show you what happens when it's finished.  (So far I'm putting all the pieces on out of order.  Cora would be shaking me.)  I think I might change the arms and embroider on her yellow dress detail and her shoes (not pictured)

Easy Delicious Real Bread

So carbohydrates are awesome, right?  Am I right?  There's nothing like homemade bread (except maybe the elusive challah baguette I bought in the Meat Packing District in NYC about 7 years ago). Sometimes bread seems like a project.  Sometimes it seems difficult.  In all honesty: it's neither.

I've made this recipe twice now using all whole-wheat flour.  The product comes out dense and hearty, thoroughly filling and great for sandwiches.  Active time for this loaf is probably fifteen minutes.  The ingredients sum to four: flour, yeast, salt, and water.  No sodium dioxide?  No xanthan gum?  No soy bi-products?  That's right.  It makes it real food.  Check the ingredient list on the bread at the grocery store.  I haven't looked at the bakery offerings but anything bagged and shipped is full of junk.

My bread got sliced and went into the freezer.  It takes a couple weeks for hubby and me to finish it since it's mostly it got eaten one piece at a time with soup or as a snack toasted with locally produced butter.  (Yeah, and I don't think he's eating it at all)

If you've never tried to make bread I highly recommend the Frugal Living method for two reasons: first you don't have to proof the yeast with water of a specific temperature, and second there's no kneading, which means (in my case) no over-kneading.

Welcome!

Hello World!

Er, I mean, hello and welcome.  This is my first blog.  It is an experiment in being open with the world.  Have you ever just wanted to connect with someone?  But you're sitting alone in your condo with the tv playing the tenth episode of Arrested Development in a row?  That's me (and that's only about two hours and twenty minutes so don't judge).

Let's go back to the beginning, though.  I have always been super serious about school.  This earned me (1) good grades, (2) a pretty good job, and (3) a mildly lacking social life.  I don't really have any desire to go out and live the party life like Cosmo seems to think I should, but at the same time, what am I supposed to do with myself?

I finished my masters in computer science in 2011 and got married in 2012, so now I don't really have any excuse to avoid finding myself.  So I'm still working on a list of hobbies:

1. cooking/baking: I love carbs, do you?  Breakfast carbs, dessert carbs, just plain bread.  But my cooking goes past that.  I really want to focus on eating "real" food: food where I know what it actually is.  It doesn't have to be health food, but I don't want  mouthful of chemicals.

2. quilting: I had a quilting mentor who passed away in October 2011.  I haven't quilted anything since... until now.  I just began a new project as a New Year's Resolution, and I hope that I am crossing the hump between grief and honoring a memory.

3. writing:  This is another one I've lost track of for a while.  I loved to write during high school, but it faded during college and beyond.  I roared back with NaNoWriMo in 2012, which was awesome fun, and hopefully that will keep me going.  It also got me reading a bit more, since reading is technically research for writing.

Drizzle says "keep reading... or don't, and then Mommy will play with me"

Hopefully I can document some creations and some delightful meals, not to mention anecdotes that will please you.  Welcome again to this fledgling effort.

~Claire